We talk too much, listen but little, move too quickly, and all without purpose. We wish somehow to fill the empty spaces which can only be filled and satisfied with quietude. Laconic brevity will try and make wisdom the tradeoff for quietude, yet even smouldering wit will not assauge the the deep need to connect with God through the perfect humility and submission of solicitude.
There is a profundity in stillness that cannot be expressed in words. It can only be caught not taught. It is caught by intentionally pacing yourself to the same cadence as that still quiet place you have found and attempting to match it's lack of meaningless activity. Settle your heart on that which does not move. Stillness and tranquility will move you and your subsequent first motion will be done in faith and in reverence.
Motion produces chaos unless motivated by intentional design and purpose distilled in silence. Allow God to imprint on your heart his instruction. Jesus said,"My sheep know my voice." Elsewhere Isaiah said," You will hear a voice behind you saying,' This is the way; walk in it'"
Tranquility is illusive to those addicted to motion. The Psalmist wrote," Be still and know I am God"also," I have stilled and quieted my soul like a just weaned child...." Wean yourself from the nuerosis of pointless activity and allow God in quietude to speak once again to your anxious heart.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The dawn of Eden
William Butler Yeats once wrote,"I would be innocent as the dawn". The dawn with it'virginal
view of the day portrays innocence well. For it's eyes are not yet fully open to make or pronounce a verdict upon the day dispensing neither judgement or mercy in it's inception, just pure innocence. Every dawn is a return to Eden. However , by dusk we are shut out by the flaming sword and banished by our own folly. We, like our ancient parentage of antiquity, choose to eat the same forbidden fruit- that of self awareness and knowledge outside of our creator. The revelation is always terrifying and we flee from the garden once again. We discover the same nakedness, shame, despair, and remorse. We were never created or intended to be self aware outside of God. There is no life outside of him. When we become attuned to the world created by him yet lack consciousness towards him we find we have no standing; no place in the world, all is meaningless ,void and empty. Without purpose we groan and flee in our despair.
God created us to be consciously self aware, but only within the safety of his presence. Our goal each new day should not be to ceaselessly struggle against eating the forbidden fruit but rather seek to retain the constancy of his glorious presence . In so doing the fruit will lose it's appeal and our focus becomes instead learning to cultivate his active presence and fellowship with his Holy Spirit. Only then can the, 'innocence of the dawn 'remain in you. When we are awakened to ourselves outside of him the need to meet our needs apart from him becomes oppressive and that always leads to sin and as the book of Romans says,"the wages of sin is death. But the gift of God is eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ," When we choose to walk and live outside of God we operate in an illusion that we have control of the elements around us. Subsequently we begin to think that we are God and act accordingly. In reality we are walking in an illusion for a season only to find death and calamity are at our door,the illusion is broken and we are undone.
This day I will retain and embrace 'the innocence of the dawn'. I will pursue only the knowledge of my life hidden in Christ in God. There is no self knowledge or self awareness outside of him but only an illusion. I will walk in step with my maker and converse with him in the cool of the day fearful only of being apart from his presence. I would share my heart with his limitless one. I would share my thoughts with his omniscient mind and be satisfied with what he says I cannot understand. I will name what creatures he brings me and work his garden well and lay me down to sleep a restful night in Eden.
view of the day portrays innocence well. For it's eyes are not yet fully open to make or pronounce a verdict upon the day dispensing neither judgement or mercy in it's inception, just pure innocence. Every dawn is a return to Eden. However , by dusk we are shut out by the flaming sword and banished by our own folly. We, like our ancient parentage of antiquity, choose to eat the same forbidden fruit- that of self awareness and knowledge outside of our creator. The revelation is always terrifying and we flee from the garden once again. We discover the same nakedness, shame, despair, and remorse. We were never created or intended to be self aware outside of God. There is no life outside of him. When we become attuned to the world created by him yet lack consciousness towards him we find we have no standing; no place in the world, all is meaningless ,void and empty. Without purpose we groan and flee in our despair.
God created us to be consciously self aware, but only within the safety of his presence. Our goal each new day should not be to ceaselessly struggle against eating the forbidden fruit but rather seek to retain the constancy of his glorious presence . In so doing the fruit will lose it's appeal and our focus becomes instead learning to cultivate his active presence and fellowship with his Holy Spirit. Only then can the, 'innocence of the dawn 'remain in you. When we are awakened to ourselves outside of him the need to meet our needs apart from him becomes oppressive and that always leads to sin and as the book of Romans says,"the wages of sin is death. But the gift of God is eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ," When we choose to walk and live outside of God we operate in an illusion that we have control of the elements around us. Subsequently we begin to think that we are God and act accordingly. In reality we are walking in an illusion for a season only to find death and calamity are at our door,the illusion is broken and we are undone.
This day I will retain and embrace 'the innocence of the dawn'. I will pursue only the knowledge of my life hidden in Christ in God. There is no self knowledge or self awareness outside of him but only an illusion. I will walk in step with my maker and converse with him in the cool of the day fearful only of being apart from his presence. I would share my heart with his limitless one. I would share my thoughts with his omniscient mind and be satisfied with what he says I cannot understand. I will name what creatures he brings me and work his garden well and lay me down to sleep a restful night in Eden.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Campfires of the homeless
It all started about three months ago along the east side of the Cowlitz river,between Kelso and Lexington near the railroad tracks, a lone campfire and a tent. At first I reasoned it was a fisherman just wanting to find a nice secluded spot in anticipation of the steel head run. But each day as I passed along the highway on the west side I noticed ,whether morning or evening ,the fire never subsided and the camp began to look more and more permanent with a folding chair here and new tarp over there. As weeks progressed I saw a new fire and then another and yet another tent and tarp. My heart ached as I began to know with certainty that this was a growing homeless camp. I had stayed by those same fires most of last year in Seattle and Everett where I was working far from home trying to save money to put my wife through school and find a new place for her and I to live for we had lost our home ,business,and just about everything familiar to us except a small,sweet loving congregation where I preached on Sunday when I returned home on weekends.
I know first hand bathing in a cold river or trying to cook over a campfire with wet wood .Trying all the while to keep clean and presentable as you keep on working hoping your colleagues don't notice the campfire smell that announces your presence like a cheap perfume . The aroma always walks in front of you. Communication is extremely difficult for often campsites are remote and cell phone service spotty or worse yet ,the coverage is fine but you have no power to charge your phone.
Last fall I was camped for a week along the Snohomish river right near the heart of downtown in such a camp where a homeless man had been staying for quite some time. I was rudely awakened about five in the morning by some eager fishermen who had intended to surprise the salmon but merely surprised me as I lay sleeping on the other side of a log, salmon like I remained quiet in my sleeping bag refusing to be roused from my slumber after a rough night and a hard day's work. I awoke a couple of hours later to find a ten dollar bill in my boot that I had left by the fire and I began to cry. Kindness is a rarity for homeless people ,for cruel looks and disparaging remarks abound when your living on the edge of society. People don't know what to do with you so they either make you invisible by treating you with disregard or open contempt.
Homeless people don't want your pity neither are they all beggars, some were just like me just trying to muster a fresh start from the ashes of an economy that fell off the tracks and left them camping beside them. The new homeless don't want you to patronize them either. Just treat them with the same dignity and respect you would offer any one else. Kindness is so appreciated because it is so rare. Many have just gone through severe loss including friends ,family,spouse and former co-workers . People of faith can be especially cruel for like Job's friends they are more interested in diagnosing and assessing your condition than simply loving you back to health. The words of Obadiah v 12 ring out "You should not look down on your brother in the day of misfortune........nor look down on them in their calamity in the day of their disaster .Do not wait at the crossroads to cut down their fugitives nor hand over their survivors.
The new homeless are not drug addicts,losers,or fugitives, they are your neighbors and friends. Don't be complacent or ambivalent towards them because you have not yet been affected by this economic clamity. This carnival ride is far from over for our country and the rest of the world as food riots and the dibilitating civil unrest rocks the globe. No one is secure in this world of uncertainty.You may yet lose your home but lets not lose our humanity. I pray you will not find yourself amongst the campfires near the tracks.
I know first hand bathing in a cold river or trying to cook over a campfire with wet wood .Trying all the while to keep clean and presentable as you keep on working hoping your colleagues don't notice the campfire smell that announces your presence like a cheap perfume . The aroma always walks in front of you. Communication is extremely difficult for often campsites are remote and cell phone service spotty or worse yet ,the coverage is fine but you have no power to charge your phone.
Last fall I was camped for a week along the Snohomish river right near the heart of downtown in such a camp where a homeless man had been staying for quite some time. I was rudely awakened about five in the morning by some eager fishermen who had intended to surprise the salmon but merely surprised me as I lay sleeping on the other side of a log, salmon like I remained quiet in my sleeping bag refusing to be roused from my slumber after a rough night and a hard day's work. I awoke a couple of hours later to find a ten dollar bill in my boot that I had left by the fire and I began to cry. Kindness is a rarity for homeless people ,for cruel looks and disparaging remarks abound when your living on the edge of society. People don't know what to do with you so they either make you invisible by treating you with disregard or open contempt.
Homeless people don't want your pity neither are they all beggars, some were just like me just trying to muster a fresh start from the ashes of an economy that fell off the tracks and left them camping beside them. The new homeless don't want you to patronize them either. Just treat them with the same dignity and respect you would offer any one else. Kindness is so appreciated because it is so rare. Many have just gone through severe loss including friends ,family,spouse and former co-workers . People of faith can be especially cruel for like Job's friends they are more interested in diagnosing and assessing your condition than simply loving you back to health. The words of Obadiah v 12 ring out "You should not look down on your brother in the day of misfortune........nor look down on them in their calamity in the day of their disaster .Do not wait at the crossroads to cut down their fugitives nor hand over their survivors.
The new homeless are not drug addicts,losers,or fugitives, they are your neighbors and friends. Don't be complacent or ambivalent towards them because you have not yet been affected by this economic clamity. This carnival ride is far from over for our country and the rest of the world as food riots and the dibilitating civil unrest rocks the globe. No one is secure in this world of uncertainty.You may yet lose your home but lets not lose our humanity. I pray you will not find yourself amongst the campfires near the tracks.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Seize the present
One of my favorite poems is Robert Frost's 'Carpe Diem'. I cherish the whole poem yet it is the latter half that always gets me........
"But bid life seize the present?
It lives less in the present
Than in the future always,
And less in both together
Than in the past. The present
Is too much for the senses,
Too crowding, too confusing-
Too present to imagine."
We would rather attempt to buy or scale all eternity rather than live fully in a single hour spiritually alive and emotionally awake to the very present moment in which we now stand .We would prefer to raid the future; invade it and ask of it the impossible rather than settle into a single moment in the present, fully aware,and fully engaged in the wonders of the here and now!We have become refugees from the present, fugitives from ourselves. The very dawning of the next conscious moment frightens us and we flee.
And so the tragedy continues where we flee the present through preoccupation with the past or fixated on the future completely disconnected ,disappointed, dispassionate about THIS moment.We try to anesthetize our minds with busyness, television,video games,or other means to avoid our own emptiness in the now. Subsequently men never really live, they merely dream of living someday or worse , they glorify and inglorious past. The Apostle Paul wrote these words," Now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation."
Hebrews chapter three quotes the Psalms with special emphasis three times,"Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts..." We must learn to be present today. We live in a world of escape and denial. We go to extreme lengths to deny our; pain, sin ,guilt,failure, and numerous other emotions and feelings for fear we cannot stand the weight or burden of the moment-and so we flee; to where or to what matters not as long as we are not required to own this moment. I say let the terror fall. Feel the agony and exhume your exhausted soul. There are a thousand voices; travel ,internet,facebook,texting,vacations,preoccupation with others. Myriads of voices and exposures but only one voice that will silence all the others.....the still small voice of God through an awakened conscience.
In order to acquire the discipline of being present in the moment and cease being a fugitive from yourself , try first setting aside a day unplanned allowing thoughts, fears,and feelings that were previously suppressed to rise to the surface where they can be felt again.Rally the courage to feel the horror of that hollow feeling and emptiness once again only this time intentionally aware. Guilt will pummel you, past sin will try to bury you, despair will try to overwhelm you but hold your ground and feel it all. Anxiousness will set in and you will want to run like you are in the habit of doing or worse flee to comfort yourself with pleasure or some crazy behaviour that will
only enslave you further. In that now moment allow the anxiousness and terror to roll over you like a wave. If you remain still and conscious you have taken the first step successfully.
Take a second step and begin to write down what you feel. If random thoughts write randomly,just try to stay tuned to the present moment as long as you can. Invite God to sit beside you and let him speak. He is ever present, ever loving, ever wise, ever forgiving and ever speaking. Take all the guilt ,shame ,blame, and pain to the cross and set it all at the feet of Jesus. Look at it with him, feel the horror of your sin and allow it's terror to overwhelm you- then own it,repent of it and allow his grace ,mercy and forgiveness to roll over you. You will find yourself wanting to live each day in the present with an ever present God......Carpe Diem
"But bid life seize the present?
It lives less in the present
Than in the future always,
And less in both together
Than in the past. The present
Is too much for the senses,
Too crowding, too confusing-
Too present to imagine."
We would rather attempt to buy or scale all eternity rather than live fully in a single hour spiritually alive and emotionally awake to the very present moment in which we now stand .We would prefer to raid the future; invade it and ask of it the impossible rather than settle into a single moment in the present, fully aware,and fully engaged in the wonders of the here and now!We have become refugees from the present, fugitives from ourselves. The very dawning of the next conscious moment frightens us and we flee.
And so the tragedy continues where we flee the present through preoccupation with the past or fixated on the future completely disconnected ,disappointed, dispassionate about THIS moment.We try to anesthetize our minds with busyness, television,video games,or other means to avoid our own emptiness in the now. Subsequently men never really live, they merely dream of living someday or worse , they glorify and inglorious past. The Apostle Paul wrote these words," Now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation."
Hebrews chapter three quotes the Psalms with special emphasis three times,"Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts..." We must learn to be present today. We live in a world of escape and denial. We go to extreme lengths to deny our; pain, sin ,guilt,failure, and numerous other emotions and feelings for fear we cannot stand the weight or burden of the moment-and so we flee; to where or to what matters not as long as we are not required to own this moment. I say let the terror fall. Feel the agony and exhume your exhausted soul. There are a thousand voices; travel ,internet,facebook,texting,vacations,preoccupation with others. Myriads of voices and exposures but only one voice that will silence all the others.....the still small voice of God through an awakened conscience.
In order to acquire the discipline of being present in the moment and cease being a fugitive from yourself , try first setting aside a day unplanned allowing thoughts, fears,and feelings that were previously suppressed to rise to the surface where they can be felt again.Rally the courage to feel the horror of that hollow feeling and emptiness once again only this time intentionally aware. Guilt will pummel you, past sin will try to bury you, despair will try to overwhelm you but hold your ground and feel it all. Anxiousness will set in and you will want to run like you are in the habit of doing or worse flee to comfort yourself with pleasure or some crazy behaviour that will
only enslave you further. In that now moment allow the anxiousness and terror to roll over you like a wave. If you remain still and conscious you have taken the first step successfully.
Take a second step and begin to write down what you feel. If random thoughts write randomly,just try to stay tuned to the present moment as long as you can. Invite God to sit beside you and let him speak. He is ever present, ever loving, ever wise, ever forgiving and ever speaking. Take all the guilt ,shame ,blame, and pain to the cross and set it all at the feet of Jesus. Look at it with him, feel the horror of your sin and allow it's terror to overwhelm you- then own it,repent of it and allow his grace ,mercy and forgiveness to roll over you. You will find yourself wanting to live each day in the present with an ever present God......Carpe Diem
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Years bonfire
I spent most of the day cleaning out the barn and burning old unnecessary stuff. There is something healthy and rejuvenating about a New Years eve bonfire- out with the old ,in with the new! I find I cannot dream properly for the future whilst hanging on to the past. Heap the fuel high! Let er rip! Burn baby burn! The year is dying in the night, do not resuscitate it.Languish not at the burning flames of yesteryear's debris! Burn it to ashes, think on it no more; handle the old years nonsense but once on the way to the burn pile. Stretch out your arm full length to the flame; allow the exhausted year to warm you and dream of future joys. All that has transpired is for the best for in Christ ,"All things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose."Romans 8:28. Every loss,every victory, every mistake, every success will all be redeemed if we but submit the year to him. Old scores, old failure,old trophies, old burdens ; all in God's manifold wisdom fully redeemed and LEVERAGING an amazing future from the ashes.
But mark this.......His purpose is thwarted and faith forfeited at our resistance to let go of what we cannot hold on to. To hold onto the past is anti-faith! For faith anticipates that which is to be and must be received with an open hand not a tight fisted clutching of the relics of the past."Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.........I press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me." Philippians 3 . So light a New Years fire, it may ignite your faith and get rid of a lot of baggage.
But mark this.......His purpose is thwarted and faith forfeited at our resistance to let go of what we cannot hold on to. To hold onto the past is anti-faith! For faith anticipates that which is to be and must be received with an open hand not a tight fisted clutching of the relics of the past."Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.........I press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me." Philippians 3 . So light a New Years fire, it may ignite your faith and get rid of a lot of baggage.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
When the wind is knocked out of you
This afternoon I finally mustered enough energy, after being quite sick, to clean out the storage area out back. To some extent it was not all physical strength which held me back. To a certain degree, the emotional courage and strength was just not previously present to deal with a whole lot of things. Sometimes I think we must just simply place some things in storage for a season before we have progressed enough in our healing and or courage to deal with stuff that represent deep pain or loss; triggers can be found in items as simple as a photo album,book or display piece or some other object that carries meaning for the handler.Often times it is misinterpreted or misunderstood as repression or denial when in reality it is neither; but rather a needful break with the CONSTANCY of the tragedy or loss; time to emotionally catch one's breath as when the air is knocked out of them. In time the regular ebb and flow of life will return and a healthy emotional balance will return in kind. But in a case of severe loss,tragedy,or intense pain sometime things are best left in storage for a while.
" There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc 3:1-8
a time to clean out the storage shed.............
" There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc 3:1-8
a time to clean out the storage shed.............
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Make pretense past tense.
I wish my life this day to have no shelves or boxes, display cases or any such place where things are held up or showcased as trophies,awards and nic-nacs. May my life simply be represented as it is. If simple ,then simple; if complicated, so be it. If virtue is present, it will rise naturally as cream to the top, it will be self evident. If there is leanness or shallowness to my character then all who call on me will either go away hungry or disappointed for they can find no harbor in me.I wish only to be not as I appear, but as I truly am. However, I would wish every encounter with me should be around an open fire whether inside or outside for it warms my wit and tempers my imagination to a tolerable degree.
I will have no division in my soul but be wholly present to every encounter. At 50 yrs of age there can be no hiddeness. Every aspiration,disappointment,failure,or triumph is some how etched in one's face. Lincoln once said,"Every man over age 35 is responsible for his face". He made that remark declining a position to someone in government.The reason he gave for denying that person was that he didn't like the way that person's face looked. Lincoln's assistant protested that that was discriminatory and unfair for how can someone be held accountable or responsible for the way their face looked. But he replied," Quite the contrary is true ,for we are all responsible for what we look like after midlife comes on for our character is carved in our visage."
I think him right, for if anger is present it resides in the eyes and the sternness of a brow often set. If hatred is resident, it leans the cheeks and sets the jaw; if kindness or love prevail there is a gentleness of features that age cannot efface and always the ever present eyes in which the windows of the soul can be viewed.Confidence is often masked insecurity which can be read in an instant as age shreds the curtains we have drawn. If manipulation and ploy have been the chief factors in attaining what was desired , these also are impossible to deny for they hang heavy on the forehead and circles about the eyes.Without a doubt, all that is inside will become apparent on the outside as age progresses. I think that is why I love the elder set so much; they have no time for pretense, they are what they are and they know it. All the wasted energy put out for appearance,image,and projection are all a mute point.
Why not skip pretense all together? Why not strip our image in our youth and be who we are?Take down your shelves and cabinets filled with paper trophies. Throw out the ornamental boxes with hidden false treasures and lets encounter one another with grace.Make pretense past tense . Enjoy one another for who they are, not what you would have them be or try to become what you think they would receive you to be. Be authentic yet ever striving to be authentically virtuous.@ Corinthians 10:18 " For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved , but the one whom the Lord commends"
I will have no division in my soul but be wholly present to every encounter. At 50 yrs of age there can be no hiddeness. Every aspiration,disappointment,failure,or triumph is some how etched in one's face. Lincoln once said,"Every man over age 35 is responsible for his face". He made that remark declining a position to someone in government.The reason he gave for denying that person was that he didn't like the way that person's face looked. Lincoln's assistant protested that that was discriminatory and unfair for how can someone be held accountable or responsible for the way their face looked. But he replied," Quite the contrary is true ,for we are all responsible for what we look like after midlife comes on for our character is carved in our visage."
I think him right, for if anger is present it resides in the eyes and the sternness of a brow often set. If hatred is resident, it leans the cheeks and sets the jaw; if kindness or love prevail there is a gentleness of features that age cannot efface and always the ever present eyes in which the windows of the soul can be viewed.Confidence is often masked insecurity which can be read in an instant as age shreds the curtains we have drawn. If manipulation and ploy have been the chief factors in attaining what was desired , these also are impossible to deny for they hang heavy on the forehead and circles about the eyes.Without a doubt, all that is inside will become apparent on the outside as age progresses. I think that is why I love the elder set so much; they have no time for pretense, they are what they are and they know it. All the wasted energy put out for appearance,image,and projection are all a mute point.
Why not skip pretense all together? Why not strip our image in our youth and be who we are?Take down your shelves and cabinets filled with paper trophies. Throw out the ornamental boxes with hidden false treasures and lets encounter one another with grace.Make pretense past tense . Enjoy one another for who they are, not what you would have them be or try to become what you think they would receive you to be. Be authentic yet ever striving to be authentically virtuous.@ Corinthians 10:18 " For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved , but the one whom the Lord commends"
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