When the wind is knocked out of you

This afternoon I finally mustered enough energy, after being quite sick, to clean out the storage area out back. To some extent it was not all physical strength which held me back. To a certain degree, the emotional courage and strength was just not previously present to deal with a whole lot of things. Sometimes I think we must just simply place some things in storage for a season before we have progressed enough in our healing and or courage to deal with stuff that represent deep pain or loss; triggers can be found in items as simple as a photo album,book or display piece or some other object that carries meaning for the handler.Often times it is misinterpreted or misunderstood as repression or denial when in reality it is neither; but rather a needful break with the CONSTANCY of the tragedy or loss; time to emotionally catch one's breath as when the air is knocked out of them. In time the regular ebb and flow of life will return and a healthy emotional balance will return in kind. But in a case of severe loss,tragedy,or intense pain sometime things are best left in storage for a while.
" There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc 3:1-8
a time to clean out the storage shed.............

Make pretense past tense.

I wish my life this day to have no shelves or boxes, display cases or any such place where things are held up or showcased as trophies,awards and nic-nacs. May my life simply be represented as it is. If simple ,then simple; if complicated, so be it. If virtue is present, it will rise naturally as cream to the top, it will be self evident. If there is leanness or shallowness to my character then all who call on me will either go away hungry or disappointed for they can find no harbor in me.I wish only to be not as I appear, but as I truly am. However, I would wish every encounter with me should be around an open fire whether inside or outside for it warms my wit and tempers my imagination to a tolerable degree.



I will have no division in my soul but be wholly present to every encounter. At 50 yrs of age there can be no hiddeness. Every aspiration,disappointment,failure,or triumph is some how etched in one's face. Lincoln once said,"Every man over age 35 is responsible for his face". He made that remark declining a position to someone in government.The reason he gave for denying that person was that he didn't like the way that person's face looked. Lincoln's assistant protested that that was discriminatory and unfair for how can someone be held accountable or responsible for the way their face looked. But he replied," Quite the contrary is true ,for we are all responsible for what we look like after midlife comes on for our character is carved in our visage."



I think him right, for if anger is present it resides in the eyes and the sternness of a brow often set. If hatred is resident, it leans the cheeks and sets the jaw; if kindness or love prevail there is a gentleness of features that age cannot efface and always the ever present eyes in which the windows of the soul can be viewed.Confidence is often masked insecurity which can be read in an instant as age shreds the curtains we have drawn. If manipulation and ploy have been the chief factors in attaining what was desired , these also are impossible to deny for they hang heavy on the forehead and circles about the eyes.Without a doubt, all that is inside will become apparent on the outside as age progresses. I think that is why I love the elder set so much; they have no time for pretense, they are what they are and they know it. All the wasted energy put out for appearance,image,and projection are all a mute point.



Why not skip pretense all together? Why not strip our image in our youth and be who we are?Take down your shelves and cabinets filled with paper trophies. Throw out the ornamental boxes with hidden false treasures and lets encounter one another with grace.Make pretense past tense . Enjoy one another for who they are, not what you would have them be or try to become what you think they would receive you to be. Be authentic yet ever striving to be authentically virtuous.@ Corinthians 10:18 " For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved , but the one whom the Lord commends"

Suffering in doses

Wisdom learned in suffering is beyond academic or even remedial it is wisdom infused,injected into one's character as when a flu shot is given . The dose given is a small dose of the disease itself that's being avoided and thus becomes an agent in building up antibodies for future protection or exposure.Thus suffering itself is often neither penal or remedial but often becomes the protection given in small doses as a healing agent and buffer against future destruction." ...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan, to torment me. Three time I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me but he said to me,'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"2 Corinthians 12:7

Shut away

I'd love to be shut away somewhere
for many days or years in the mountain air
with a fire,book and pen by the sea,
where all my thoughts take hold of me;
To drive truth into a corner,
interrogate it, force a confession;
If false no harm's done, I will be free
from all untruth or deceiving contriviality,
But if true, humbly submit my heart
and all truth's virtues to me impart.

95 yr wisdom

I recently awoke at the Washington coast in Longbeach after performing a lovely wedding ceremony for a kind older couple. The groom was a man of profound grace and sensitivity-rare for a man of his age, gentle yet strong. He exuded unusual kindness and generosity. I met his 95 yr old mother and it was apparent to me how his character came to be molded. I sat next to her at the reception and asked her what the most important thing in life was. She did not hesitate to utter," Love ,grace,kindness....and oh, don't go to bed angry." I asked," What is your favorite passage of scripture?". Immediately she answered,"1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter."

She wanted to know why I was asking these questions. I said,"I want a 45 yr jump start on the rest of my life and figured you had the privilege of experience."There was deep mystery in her emerald eyes as if she could read your mind; their brightness revealed a strong sense of presence,understanding, and grace. She spoke softly with authority," You know these things already.....now live them."She was an absolute delight with virtue self evident.

Wisdom sought is not wisdom gained .Wisdom is the practice of selected knowledge. What we throw out is as important as what we retain and choose to put into operation. May I behave as I believe or rather believe until I behave."I believe therefore have I spoken. With that same spirit of faith may we also speak...." Apostle Paul

Another typical day........

I was about to enter my diary with the opening words,"another typical rainy day in the northwest...." .I stopped myself for I despise the word typical. I loathe it's every application of usage for the word itself would attempt to throw everything into an old trunk labeling all as mundane,ordinary, and unworthy of special note. I will have no mundane in my life! I wish every moment I breathe to be a moment of enchantment, magic and miracles. I desire to live every moment with the knowledge of the presence of God. Even one moment in his presence is a moment in eternity and there is nothing mundane,routine, dreary,or uninteresting about that.Every breath should be inhaled with special affection for the glory of life.

I wish to disassociate with this part of my vocabulary; mundane,typical,ordinary,routine. I wish to live each day with eager expectation of the dawn, where every evening is enchanting as Christmas eve and childlike, I approach each new day with a thrill of anticipation and joy.The very rituals of my common hours will reflect a magical celebration of life; collecting eggs from the hen house will be a life nurturing venture of worthy note, washing dishes,or morning coffee, all unique rituals to be enjoyed with the fondest relish.

Great writers like Whitman,Thoreau, Emerson, and Muir all knew how to suck the marrow out
of the moment; a turning leaf, the slight of a breeze, or the sight of a bird alighting upon the feeder. Our culture tends to breed dissatisfaction in order to motivate the masses to purchase their product which gives a false promise of a greater thrill or better comfort. The experience is never quite as good as it was promoted or displayed but just enough satisfaction acquired to anticipate another stimulating event or purchase which guarantees a a greater high or thrill.Thus we become slaves to the exterior. Our interior lives and imagination whither and suppress the real elixir which is always self brewed.

Every new stimulation begets another, and then another, for one must always have fresh excitement to remain alive. It is a gerbil's treadmill of foolish and meaningless activity. It is speed with no direction,distance with no destination leaving us ricocheting our way through life
exhausted and purposeless.

It's not the pace, it's the meaning in which we give life that counts. Meaning above all else is the milepost of our success in living. Meaning cannot be assessed until we challenge the values by which we live. Throw out all that is false and acquire new values, new paradigms,build new equations ,new math until you arrive at an equation that always ends in truth. With a fresh foundation of values revisited and meanings applied their can be no typical or ordinary day,hour or moment .

Miracles are a-foot

I used to look for the glory in the extraordinary or unusual events of my life. But I have come to recognize that God works very much in the common events of everyday life. These are the things that comprise most of our days and that is wherein miracles lie. We step over a dollar to pick up a dime and miss the miracle of a sunrise or a cool misty morning hoping to find something fantastic or magical just over the horizon when heaven is at our feet and miracles are a foot as we sip our morning coffee.

We long for the future to be bright as we miss the present light and illumination that is all around us. We are looking in the wrong place for the kingdom of heaven, for Jesus said ,"The kingdom of heaven is within you....Do not say,'Here it is or there it is' " It always resides within. If we would but take the time and witness the glory, peace and pure delight that can fill us even now we would cease chasing fantasies.God is present in the common hours,this is where he is to be found. He is too present to imagine yet accessible at a whisper.Stop ,look, and listen....there are miracles a foot.

Duplistic light

Arrogance and pride are such bizarre attributes. Like the sun ,so impressed with his own radiance and immanence, he is unable to view the fact that that his very light is duplistic, for in it he is the author of shadows and hidden things in the shade.To lesson the intensity would be to illumine with diffused light against a cloud or a mist; diminished ,reflected,absorbed radiance wherein all things come into view ,shadows dispersed,and darkness no longer hidden. The more brilliant the display, greater becomes the darkness.
Pharisees in their own self righteousness and self proclaimed brilliance killed the author of light."The light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it." John 1:5

Lessons of the heron

I watched a great blue heron remain in a still position ,motionless for over an hour in the meadow near the edge of the lake. He was poised with perfect intent and great hopes of securing food by his perfect stillness.Why should it work for him and not me? Why should he be the only beneficiary of solitude's fruit? I should feed my own soul by the same practice with eager expectation and anticipation of a great catch.

I, near quiet waters survey the landscape of my life in hopes of catching a sweet memory or a loving reflection on some former act of kindness or sacrifice, that with fresh meaning attached, will spur me on to new actions of goodness and faith. My feathered mentor exercises much wisdom in his meditative posture. His patience feeds him. For after hours of perfect quietude he strikes and feasts upon a salamander or grub then resorts back to his former position.

We can only feed our souls with the nourishment that comes from quiet and prayer. This is the place we filter and assimilate making God's values our own. Often times God's clear voice is drowned out by the clamorous shouting and incessant business of our lives. We do not need a new word from God but rather put new priority on filtering out the unnecessary and you will hear what he has been speaking to your heart all along but in a fresh hearing as though it was the first time you heard his voice.

Learn the wisdom of the heron and sit like ,"patience upon a monument", allowing your patience to feed your spirit. Isaiah says," you will hear the voice of the Lord behind you saying ,'this is the way, walk in it.' "Filter not and you will hear it not.

The heavens declare the glory of God, the earth shows his handiwork

from my diary Oct 27,2010

Oh rare intimate moment of peace; peace not to be examined from afar or with a cold scholarly view of external tranquility, but a soul interaction with it; nature speaks, we reply,and it responds accordingly. The romantics called it intercourse with nature, I call it intoxicating! We cannot benefit from nature by mere observation , rather we must participate not simply study it, or passively watch but fully engage your heart and soul in conversing with the breeze, laughing in the wind; allow the very character and soul of your environs to nurture your spirit. it is God's second voice, or as written in the Talmud ,"Bath Kol". God speaks clearly, definitively,and convincingly with wisdom and splendor through his creation. All is purposeful,balanced,and integral in design." The heavens declare the glory of God and the earth shows his handiwork. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge there is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." Psalm 19

Death Foretells

Death foretells the day of greatest vantage;
Deeds done,
All is said,
Battles won,
Now you're dead.....
But clear as day,
All is seen,
Of what has been,
Not what could be,
or will be, or maybe,
or should be ,or you'll see,
But all is settled in finality!
A vantage view
is all you'll hold,
Then truth will rise,
So be brave and bold,
for now the real
Story will be told.

"In quietness and rest is your salvation" Isaiah

I submit this passage from my diary on an October morning....10-11-2010

The morning sun pries open the grey overcast dawn and triumphs by force to lighten the day; But a forced entry cannot long endure and soon winter will lock the door securely and bar its' entrance for several months. I will enjoy this welcome intruder to my lakeside retreat and hedge my bet that the day will eventually warm up and light a campfire assisting it in its' progress. Long live solicitude, in my outdoors office of pine over head, fire by my side, and pine needle carpet at my feet, and a verdant view of the meadow across the placid lake.

There is a depth to the lake I noticed yester-morn before church that still remains this mid-morning. It is due in part by the heightened water level after heavy rains all weekend, but yet more than physical depth. It is as though all the elements of God's nature in creation; goodness,beauty,peace,were all deposited into the lake having been carried in from the wind and the rain from parts unknown; droplet to leaf, leaf to fallen log, sediment to rivulet, and streams flowing in with arms and hands wide open to receive all the nutriments of life- its' core elements pooled into a reservoir of beauty and peace.

My action this day is in inaction
inaction to trivialities
noncompliance with routine
a break with meter
as I choose my own cadence
of stillest tranquility and quiet peace

Do not dare cry," loafer! "or "vagrant!", for Isaiah says, " In quietness and rest is your salvation.";and I will have my fill of his salvation. In my meditative hours I am ever fully employed in the field of thought , tilling my soil of imagination and pruning my orchard of needless limbs and actions that produce nothing but dispair. Do less and not more and you will accomplish much.Be more and search less. Leverage silence. Let all your philosophy, religion, science,be but one sentence of profound truth ,then distill it down to one word. Whisper that word often and you will arrive at wisdoms' feet. We worship speed yet crave slowness. We demand commodities yet need only bread.

All is Autumn poem by Rob Neuschwander

All is autumn, all is fall.
Fall is in everything;
Trees,leaves,rain,sunshine ,all
To be tempered with lifes' decline,
Less of warmth,less of sunshine,
Less of growth,less of sap,
Less of preccupation with summer hurry,
Less of tilling and spring worry,
Less of needless bustle and scurry,
As fall lays to rest
What spring and summer put to test.
Finally winter sounds off
With a flurry and a blast!

How to get Unstuck by Rob Neuschwander

I have of late, discovered the value of stepping out of ones' own pain even when it is most acute. Often it is believed and practiced that when we are in pain, loaded with emotional baggage ,and our pain is at its' peak,we become stuck because we feel we must first address the pain and its' cause before taking any further step.



The problem with this type of thinking is that we lose perspective. All our efforts, energy, and focus magnify the pain and we lose all objectivity. It looms ominous over our spirits like a melancholy fog. Stepping outside of ourselves and our pain can have great therapeutic benefit especially when all that energy and effort is diverted towards the needs of someone else. The goal is not to ignore or suppress or trivialize the pain and its' cause but rather to step outside of it for a season.



What follows is new perspectives and meanings and understanding that will empower you to deal with the pain when you decide to revisit it. This is a good first step in the process of getting unstuck. You will find yourself having picked up new tools along the way when you go on your " stepping out of pain adventures".The mere excercise of "stepping out" reinforces the notion that you do not have to remain there.



If you find yourself stuck in pain unable to dislodge yourself free , give yourself permission to step out of yourself and your pain for a season and focus on someone who needs your help. Love them ,serve them assist in some way and take this promise with you.....

"Praise be to the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles , so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Cor 1:3,4

Flight of fancy

To flight of fancy I will go
Though no one goes with me
Away to beauty will I run
With truth in hand
and finally arrive at justice feet

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful perhaps more so" Victor Hugo Les Miserables'

Twilight Vespers

Softly fades the evening light
Birds singing holy vespers at twilight
And I in front pew, garden center ,listen with delight
A holy moment follows with quiet and still
When one last prayer bird sang a final rill
Oh glorious evening calm and free!
Be my memory healer when I look and see
Sober days and troubled ways ahead of me
Twilight vespers will be my healing memory

In Between

Silence breeds the stillness calm
With breeze and wind
Seldom long.
Focus not on hurried scene,
But stay as long in that
Place in between
Awakening and engaging.
Remain at revelation long
and you will lose your song.
Engage too sudden or strong
And awakening is not assimilated.
I could be wrong........
But I advise stay in between
and life will show you what I mean.

The finished man

Self assured most surely shall fall,
With greater crash his all will smash;
Confidence,arrogance,pride and all;
What remains is the unfinished man.
To perfection pain will bring a pall
To his eyes but wisdom to heart
Compassion to an art; pain his gain,
When humility shares it's shame.
That man a finished man when
........................only love remain.

Bend action to purpose

Bend action to purpose with deep intent

Direct it's course.

Action without purpose plain

Will in needless motion remain

For purpose to know and fulfill

You must needs first be still

Arrogance ,prides expression

Arrogance is pride's expression as a smile is the expression of kindness.
Arrogance smiles with superiority and condescension.
Humility is Love's attire equally dressed for mourning and laughter.
Laughter often sits in the lap of fools , but when humility laughs it's of
a different source.
If laughter could have integrity it is when it is birthed from humility

My prayer

Heal me Lord for my wound is great.

Forgive me Lord for I have failed of late.

I want to run from the pain of my despair;

When all I truly desire is for you to repair;

All that's been wounded,broken,and failed in me.

Restore me, comfort me, give me eyes to see,

All that you're doing, repairing, preparing to be.

Forgive me Lord, for I am my own worst enemy.

Anger resides in the lap of fools

Anger always has something to with our attitude towards God. For anger at its root is not mere agitation or temperament displayed or hereditary disposition. These are excuses for erratic and godless behaviour; No, anger has it's roots in a nagging sense of justice gone wrong- that is that I or someone else has not received justice or perhaps been done wrong. Outside of God there is no justice for he is the author of it; sustainer ,arbiter, judge and jury.

In order for justice to be justice it must justly be constant, not subject to cultural relevance or paradigm shifts.Constancy must be it's benchmark or else it cannot be trusted and would therefore be unjust. It must be objective- that is , outside of ourselves-since cultural swings cannot provide us with consensus ,for society is too moody and too fickle to be credible. It stands to reason, and reason alone would dictate the necessity of God for constant and objective good to exist.When men express anger they manifest their disapproval of God and his sense of justice.

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry." Brother James , half brother to Jesus Christ.

Fields of despair a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Where are you and why are you there?
Ever dare ask the question, ever care?
Once asked, wait for the answers, better prepare,
to face what you've tried to erase,
what you cannot share:
For fear of shame,no one to blame,so light the flame
of interior light and journey where, you would never dare
go for love of truth and be willing to bare
what your search yields in the fields of despair.

Wisdom of the ancients a poem by Rob Neuschwander

To live in purity and keep the straight way,
listen what Rabbi Mahalelel did say,
"Three things above you ,you must always know,
and virtue will follow you everywhere you shall go.
If these things remember you surely will grow,;
Remember the eye that's above you does see;
The ear that can hear you wherever you be;
And last but not least perhaps greatest of all,
written ,recorded,and remembered of thee,
to all give account to the maker of me.

Time is but a place in space a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Robert Frost once wrote,' I could give all to time except that which I've held in my hand......that I will not part with."Some of the inspiration from that glorious poem inspired this poem .


Time is but a place in space,
that exempt from meter does erase;
leaving imagination open without measure;
thoughts,dreams ,meaning ,and pleasure.

Who for thought can time efface?
Who for courage and treasure time erase?
I will sit me down with book and pen,
open heart and journal ,venture within
the unexplored places,giving place to dream
and find what time has been hiding.
I'll discover new realms and things unseen
and adventure on where no man has been.

Henry the eighth

Henry the eighth is one of Shakespeare's marginalized plays, subsequently great thoughts are forgotten. Take these verses for example:

Buckingham says,"Where you are liberal of your loves and counsels, be not loose, for those you make friends and give your heart to , when they once perceive the least rub in your fortunes, fall away like water from you, never found again."

or elsewhere in the play,"Our content is our best having"

or " Evil mens manners live in brass; their virtues write in water"

and this,"The quiet of my wounded conscience; Thou art a cure fit for a king"

Who of our age has yet found the convergence of genius ,original thought,human psychology and language all wrapped up in one man? No wonder he is a timeless titan of the English language.

Stillness and quiet a poem by Rob Neuschwander

A prelude thought from my diary....

"Stillness is as effective as quiet in spiritual rejuvenation. The juxtaposition of both is pure elation. But is stillness an inner perception and not merely the absence of movement?
At present there is profound stillness in my soul and the house is perfectly quiet but outside the wind is quite active with intermittent showers even snow with a backdrop of prevailing sunshine. In spite of all the activity there is stillness yet.........." This is the inspiration of the poem.


Stillness and quiet

Stillness and quiet reside in my soul
though outside wind and rain take it's toll,
on limbs and trees and blossoms and leaves;
In spite of all these distractions,
there is in me a restive peace,
as after storm clouds release
their violent spray then afterward they cease.

Then calm regains it's place
with absence of motion action erase;
Stillness ensues , quiet pursues.
Storm debris left not a hint or trace,
in midst of tumultuous windy pace;
I ,peace in tact, repose in grace.

Fatal attractions a poem by Rob Neuschwander

To willingly,knowingly act foolish
is to be the greatest fool of all.
When wisdom is spurned
and dicipline burned
be ready to crash and to fall.
A fool is known by his actions;
no difference how wise,no matter
how high or how tall you may be,
beware fatal attractions
that pull on your heart,
it's just the enemies dart
to wound you thoroughly.
When you act so carelessly
don't be so hopelessly
enamored when Mephistophles
brings you thoughts that tease
when he becons and comes to call,
no temptation has seized you
except that which is common to all.

Christmas mourn a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Assorted hopes wrapped in uncertainty,
many a joy bound up in dispair;
much in both must faith repair,
til joy unbounded and hope fly fair.
My spirit soars again high up in the air.
But know with certainty that faith's the key
that unlocks the mystery ............
of all that binds joy and buries hope within me.

Faith is a child on Christmas morn
unwrapping,untying presents under the tree,
ever so, ever so, ever so ,gleefully.

Mountain meadow a poem by Rob Neuschwander

I in all richness favor,
no other flavor,
none else do I so savour,
as a drink from a
mountain spring.

I crave no other thing,
but to dip my face
in a glacial chase
where no trace
of man is found
no other noise
no other sound
but gurgling ,giggling
springs abound.

Family stocks and futures a poem by Rob Neuschwander

"Basically it's over!" a wealthy man did say.
But he never did ask me what I thought
of the economic play.

I would tell him.......
My stock in children is as good as ever,
I invested wisely and could never,
say their return was down or their dividends low,
For love, admiration, and respect pay out slow.
No quick return on manic sales of "short love"
One can't raise good stock with push and shove,
or manipulate the market with calls and splits,
Wise investments accrue daily with each hug and kiss.
A sound strategy never suddenly splits and shifts.

My way in futures looks sound and clear,
Whenever my granddaughter plays and skips near,
and sits on my lap and whispers," Papa you're dear".
No, my value in family is as good as ever,
I invested wisely and could never,
say their return was down or dividends low,
For love, admiration,honor and respect pay out slow.

April in me a poem by Rob Neuschwander

It's about as April a day as March could be,

with blossoms full and sounds of bird and bee.

Oh, how can it be but March,

When it's so April in me?

Hatred's antidote understanding

Hatred is the ugliest of emotions for it is the root of murder and mother to anger. Hatred's seed is planted in the soil of misunderstanding . As misunderstanding grows it matures into intolerance disallowing understanding a place to grow.


Where there is deep understanding there is tolerance. Tolerance can progress to acceptance, acceptance mature to benevolence ,benevolence produces kindness, and kindness in full bloom completes and finishes as the fruit of love. Therefore understanding is the genesis of love's completion.


Understanding being foundational to seed love's development, what is necessary for it to develop? Patience, listening, observing, humility,and wisdom are the green house nuturers understanding requires to become a seedling. Set it out too quickly without slowly hardening it to the elements and it will perish. No, there can be no quick tricks for raising and propagating the seedling understanding . Place the tender plant to early or in the bad soil of misunderstanding and hatred will spoil everything.


So it reasons ,that if we desire to be a people bereft of hatred and filled with love, we must cultivate understanding with it's key elements: Patience,humility,listening, observing,and wisdom. Wisdom brings all the data into emotional play.Wisdom will tell you what to do with understanding and how to use it.

Colossians 3:8 " You must rid yourselves of all such things as these; anger, rage, malice, slander.....since you have taken off your old self with it's practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in the image of it's Creator."

What I really wish to say a poem by Rob Neuschwander

What I really wish to say,
that all within my mind does lay,
but voice I cannot give.
For not as thought alone reside,
but in impression live aside:
Feelings,emotions,directions,values,
meanings,nameless ghosts that do move me;
But speechless................
I strain in envy to hear their whisper.

Springuary a poem by Rob Neuschwander

There is winter; there is spring.
Sometimes providence creates a thing between.
Where neither winter rules ,nor spring a scepter holds;
but blossom blooms and leaf unfolds,
and winter breeze, it quickly scolds.

Time will tell and say ,who well will win this day;
but winters cold way has fallen into decay,
and spring will have it's merry way.

Possesions a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Why do I wish to possess what I cannot own?
For all I can ever own is a grave's debt
that I will pay some day
when my body is sown.

I can only possess my here and now
with virtues held and won;
will be all that's left
when I am dead and done.

Attitude of Spring a poem by Rob Neuschwander

I will choose Springs attitude,
with no room for stale platitude,
But stay green with verdant mind keen;
Holding fast to deep rooted things,
always leaving room for what revelation brings.
Deep truths seldom with verbosity ring,
but truth like Robin's voice clearly sing
unmistakable melody that heralds the dawn.
I will hold fast to Springs verdant view
with obsequious wonder behold all things new.

I fuse the muse a poem by Rob Neuschwander

I fuse the muse with what I choose
as imagination captains on.
Give sail to dreams, for what is,
is not as it seems.
Inspiration on the wide ocean teems
with adventure sought
Give the muse wide berth
and he will reward you with thought;
All you've sought with new truths taught.

Be ever grateful a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Be ever grateful for the vice
that led to virtue's victory.
For vice had fled when virtue led
and I, passion's raiment shed;
When warmth of goodness virtue knew,
to seal my virtue....vice to virtue grew;
To love the good and hate the wrong;
Mercy to me ,in me, from me ,belong.

If mercy were all I knew a poem by Rob Neuschwander

If mercy were all I knew,

I would know well enough.

For hatred's sting and revenge's ring;

Never prevails ,

When mercy avails.



Mercy is it's own justice,

Holding court without malice.

It meets out favours to the wounded

and heaps coals of fire with kindness armed;

To disarm the wrong doer and benevolence charmed

lets go his weapons of hate.



If mercy were all I knew,

I would know well enough

for hatred's sting and revenge's ring;

Never prevails.........

When mercy avails,

and falls dumbfounded into mercy's fate.

I do not wish to sleep a poem by Rob Neuschwander

I do not wish to sleep, but sleep wishes me.
Try as I might I put up a good fight with sighs I press and plea,
For eyes too tired to see, and I so weary be.......
That drowsy nods and cloudy thoughts
all confuse my thinking cap.
I think I'll give in and just take a nap!

Robin song a poem by Rob Neuschwander

The Robin awoke the dawn with song.............



too early for Spring,yet too much sun for Winter to bring.



How can a Robin's song be thought as wrong ?



He is a portent of Spring and sings in faith that Winter is gone.



So sing on !Sing on! Go tell it on the mountain long!



What we believe and sing , faith will bring, if we but sing along.

Know the Dawn a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Know the dawn......
Know it completely.
If you know not dawn
at it's infancy
How will you recognize
it in it's constancy?

As stages in men,
the bard did say;
So stages of the dawn
also go by play.

Know the day
while in nurses arm.
Know the day for
it's schoolboy charm.
As mid-day lover
love it well.
Afternoon charms
as soldier to arms.
Embrace the day's fury,
but not lost in worry;
Let not mid-days battles
lose sight of the dawn.
Life is cursed with it's hurry!
Don't lose sight of all
that dawn had taught and brought

Afternoon arrives as fury does subside
leaving wisdom with," good capon-lined."
As Shakespeare did say,
"Alls Well That Ends Well"
evening concludes the day.

This day plays it's part,
and day before dusk
is a thing apart.........
A time to reflect,meditate,
and value all the day did impart.

Thus ends the day as a strange history
all bounded up in glorious mystery;
of second childhood at dusk's bequest,
thoughts return to the dawn......

If you know not dawn dawn at it's beginning,
how will you conclude the day with it's meaning?

Psalms " From the womb of the dawn you will receive the dew of your youth."

One day Holiday a poem by Rob Neuschwander

I do cheat the week
in my one day retreat.
I play and think and plan
and make my day a year.
I chase away all my fear
with plans a-knew I dream
and scheme and revelation seek.
One day off may as well be a week.

Hebrews 4:9 " There remains,then a sabbath-rest for the people of God; for any one who enters God's rest also rests from his own work...."

Loss is but dross a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Loss is but dross,

leaving metal refined.

Loss I do but toss,

leaving all behind.

My metal does stay,

Fire did consume all but hay

and stubble; But I and my

metal still stand erect.

Through trials God does perfect

and in his image mold,

till all that does remain is gold.



Philipppians 3:7 "Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more , I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness

Tree of Endurance

I submit this from my "Forest diaries" while working in Marysville Wa. I spent evenings and mornings camped on the Puget Sound near Kayak Point with a glorious view of the Olympic Mt's in the distance and Puget Sound at my feet.

" Broad spaces for broad thinking........I come to the beach to think widely. The forest is for meditative reflective thinking. The rivers ,meadows, beaches are for limitless applications and adventures in thought and prayer.

Thoreau does it again where he in pure genius says,'Read not the times, read the eternities. Conventionality's are in length as bad as impurities.....knowledge does not come to us by details but in flashes of light from heaven.' and, ' 'Only the character of the hearer determines to which it shall be open and to which closed. The mind can be permanently profaned by the habit of attending to trivial things, so that all thoughts shall be tinged with triviality.'

As I write and reflect I receive my own flash from heaven. There is an old fir tree I pass each morning on my way to prayer at the beach. The tree must be 4-500 years old marred by time, topless from a windstorm, burned thoroughly at the base by some severe fire a century or two previous, limbs broken.......but there it stands still living, green and growing. It stands for the wisdom of character, the victory of patience in time. Most of all, for want of possessing any defensive mechanism, it stands for patient endurance,long suffering, humility and grace.

Life has done it's worst to the tree yet it waits patiently and continues to function. It nourishes the forest with it's foliage spitting out oxygen and enriching the soil with it's used up needles,limbs and spent seed cones. With every breeze it dispenses life. What a great metaphor for serving under pressure with patience and careful endurance. I call it the tree of endurance.

My mind in prayer went to Romans 9:22 with my thoughts still lingering on the battered but enduring tree. 'What if God , choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the object of his wrath- prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy whom he prepared in advance for glory-even us whom he also called...?' Even if God chose me to be an object of his wrath to demonstrate his mercy, as in the case of the enduring tree, then so be it. He is incapable of wrong no matter how trying life and circumstances may be. Job said, 'Tho God slay me yet will I serve him', I add amen. Paul the apostle said,' Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.'

May I not be spent and used up by the trivialities and abuses of life, but mayI patiently endure with joy and cheerful service at whatever God allows me to do. I will be as wise and enduring as the old tree and without complaint take whatever life throws at me and continue to dispense life with every breeze."

Wisdom.....half baked

I fell upon this from my diary entry last fall on the occasion of my birthday while camped on Flowing lake near Snohomish Wa.

"So this day's dawn will break upon me as wisdom half baked for I dare not say I have obtained anything other than a good education in pursuit of it. Wisdom is it's own reward and must be equally matched with discipline and clothed with humility. Wisdom without discipline is idle knowledge and will only puff oneself up.

In the past I have turned to wealth and it's pursuit but only to find it is a hard taskmaster. Notoriety was enjoyable,but by it's very nature is opposed to solitude and reflecting . Besides all that it sets one up as a prime target for enemies due to envy, for men cannot endure your success .

But there is value in having chased fantasy and the illusion of success. Having tested these illusions one knows personally their futility which results in experiential wisdom or rather wisdom owned. Solomon said,"Seek wisdom more than silver ,more than gold."Yet Solomon in all of his wisdom and knowledge failed to put God first. Wisdom applied should lead one closer to it's source which is Christ. The Apostle Paul said,"In Christ Jesus are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."Later in his letter to the Corinthians he says in knowing him intimately we,"possess the mind of Christ."

At this turn in the road I have decided to let wisdom bake fully and follow Paul's later advice to Timothy, " Make your ambition to lead a quiet life.....do something useful with your hands." and "Godliness with contentment is great gain.For we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothes, with these we shall be content."Does wisdom necessitate simplicity? Or is simplicity wisdom itself by intentionally choosing,"less is more" Thoreau,Gandhi,Rousseau and Jesus thought so.

Our quest for any sort of certitude on any level ,(outside of Christ),is absurd . Tolstoy was obsessed with the transitory nature of life and it's constant endless motion. To place our peace and tranquility on having a slice of the pie of this life unchanged is setting oneself up for disappointment. " Certitude is mortals worst enemy",so said the bard. Macbeth is the tragedy of our quest for certitude and in yielding to it's call we must conclude with the story that," His illusion led to his confusion"Our pursuit of certitude on all levels is equally absurd, but worse, for in chasing it we follow Macbeth's tragedy and fulfill our own doom in our quest.

"I consider all things rubbish compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus."Thus spoke Paul on the futility not only of half baked wisdom but in all things certain outside of Christ.Man was never intended or designed to have anything outside of God himself. But because our sin separated us from him we have cultivated self will and self determinism. Evangelicalism has failed in it's mission to identify ourselves solely in Christ the author of wisdom.
Man was never intended to have self knowledge or wisdom of anything outside of God. We came up with foolish postulations and maxims like ;my personal saviour,my gifting ,my anointing all predicated on self will and self knowledge ;self this and self that. But Paul makes clear that,"I no longer live ...the life I live I live by faith in the son of God." And,"Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why as though you still belong to it do you submit to it's rules?"Elsewhere in Colossians,"You died and and your life is now hid with Christ in God."

It is apparent from scripture and some of the world's greatest thinkers that our mission and quest for wealth,notoriety,position or power are all illusions sure to disappoint. Truly what we are after is a measure of certainty in this life and we falsely believe these things will help bring us closer to some level of certitude. This can never be for God desires to be our only certainty and any knowledge or wisdom exercised outside of him is simply.....wisdom half baked.

Jerusalem Diary

Psalm 122:2 "Our feet are standing in your gates,O Jerusalem. Jerusalem is built like a city that is closely compacted together."

Thoughts from my diary while in Jerusalem Israel..........

Sunrise in Jerusalem is unlike anything I've ever experienced. This is not a place to visit it is rather a thing that happens to you as you walk it's streets and narrow corridors teeming with life.

It's people are it's treasure as much or more than it's history or architecture. It is a unique juxtaposition of cultures, religion,and history. The city is part "Trick or treat",part "Fourth of July", part hate, part love, universal with a narrow twist. It is religious and cultural and ethnic tolerance at gunpoint; a city divided yet united; a clash of cultures and a melding of cultures.

This is not a place to be visited in the casual sense; it is neither inviting you nor rejecting you. If you will allow, it will simply and profoundly confirm and challenge everything you believe about people, culture and faith.

The cheap mockery of faith is everywhere. Praying at the western "Wailing Wall", a young Hassidic man laid his hand on my shoulder to pray for me . I was touched by his expression of faith and kindness only to have my spirit and heart violated and cheapened by a more than casual request for money. He persisted though I told him I really just wanted to pray.This experience was repeated on several different occasions at the temple mount and elsewhere in the city. Various trinket, amulet and religious vendors all trying to capitalize on the mercenary fervor that can be had at faith's expense.

But in the midst of the circus like atmosphere I was struck by the sincere passion, reverence and faith by so many from all around the world. I could spend a lifetime writing of the profundity of this place and perhaps eventually I will do so.

Walking from the Mount of Olives at night I descended down the mountain through Gethsemane and it's shrines to the bottom of the Kidron valley. As I walked further into the cool , dark , and starlit night, the floor of the valley became quieted by stone walls and the smells
of orchard and grass could be inhaled and all at once I was translated into a different time and place . I walked past Absalom's tomb and tomb of Zechariah and of the kings of old. It became obvious to me that this was probably the same exact route taken by Jesus after he was arrested in the garden and hauled up the stairs to the temple where the Sanhedrin met. I wept near that place for many hours as I became acutely aware of my sinfulness and failure and felt a part of the burden that Jesus carried for me through that valley on his way to his final destination, Calvary. A caring priest saw me weeping and wanted to assist me. I motioned him away as I could only bury my head in shame and retreated into the chapel at Gethsemane where I wept uncontrollably for hours. I stained the rock of agony with my tears and felt the presence of God there comforting me.
I eventually composed my self and walked up the long hill outside the city walls back to where I was staying in the old city at the Citadel Hostel. As I climbed up the hill I heard a shot fired in the distance from Olivet where earlier in the day I had seen some unrest . Some Arab youth had set several garbage cans on fire to provoke some sort of reaction from the police.The rest of Psalm 122 came to mind....''Pray for the peace of Jerusalem; May those who love you be secure. May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels"

Purpose Unknown a poem by Rob Neuschwander

In my heart and mind's eye see
God's design for me is still;
unsure,hidden,tentative,and maybe.
But revelation says he must and will purpose fulfill,
all he desires for me in his perfect will.

Where and why and when he knows full well,
Though I unknowingly his will attend.
I shall not pretend to know the end;
Simply walk by faith through dark
untraveled,unfamiliar,unfriendly ways embark.
And live by faith not by sight
with all my soul surrender to his might.

2 Corinthians 4:18" We do not look at the things that are seen.For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things which are unseen are eternal."

Cloudy with a chance of prayer a poem by Rob Neuschwander

The skies misread the sacred text,

" Pray without ceasing."

For rain without ceasing was next.

So I prayed for ceasing of rain,

but no answer for my pain.

Yet again the answer did come,

but not as I had planned.

For prayer is it's own reward,

and those whose rain will never cease,

will without relief remain perplexed.

No matter how I prayed for rain to ease,

rain without ceasing was next.



1 Thess 5:17 "Pray without ceasing."Ephesians 5:20 ,"Giving thanks always for all things..."

I love verse a poem by Rob Neuschwander

I love verse but it seems
verse loves not me.
For try as I might
I'm blinded with sight
of what could, but may not be.

Conventionality a poem by Rob Neuschwander

Conventionality........
I will have none of thee
for you do not read the times

Tumultuous times demand
a new reality.
That which has been
is no more.
For darkness all around
knocks incessant at the door,
convention pretends
and lies still on the floor
as if nothing has changed.
Excuse me but all's been rearranged!
And I will not abide
convention's tide and hide.

No I'll seek new solutions
to this seasons revolutions.
Conventionality..........
I will have none of thee
for you do not read the times.

! Thess 5:2 For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night.For when they say,Peace and safety!" then sudden destruction comes upon them as labor pains upon a pregnant woman."