When the wind is knocked out of you

This afternoon I finally mustered enough energy, after being quite sick, to clean out the storage area out back. To some extent it was not all physical strength which held me back. To a certain degree, the emotional courage and strength was just not previously present to deal with a whole lot of things. Sometimes I think we must just simply place some things in storage for a season before we have progressed enough in our healing and or courage to deal with stuff that represent deep pain or loss; triggers can be found in items as simple as a photo album,book or display piece or some other object that carries meaning for the handler.Often times it is misinterpreted or misunderstood as repression or denial when in reality it is neither; but rather a needful break with the CONSTANCY of the tragedy or loss; time to emotionally catch one's breath as when the air is knocked out of them. In time the regular ebb and flow of life will return and a healthy emotional balance will return in kind. But in a case of severe loss,tragedy,or intense pain sometime things are best left in storage for a while.
" There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc 3:1-8
a time to clean out the storage shed.............

Make pretense past tense.

I wish my life this day to have no shelves or boxes, display cases or any such place where things are held up or showcased as trophies,awards and nic-nacs. May my life simply be represented as it is. If simple ,then simple; if complicated, so be it. If virtue is present, it will rise naturally as cream to the top, it will be self evident. If there is leanness or shallowness to my character then all who call on me will either go away hungry or disappointed for they can find no harbor in me.I wish only to be not as I appear, but as I truly am. However, I would wish every encounter with me should be around an open fire whether inside or outside for it warms my wit and tempers my imagination to a tolerable degree.



I will have no division in my soul but be wholly present to every encounter. At 50 yrs of age there can be no hiddeness. Every aspiration,disappointment,failure,or triumph is some how etched in one's face. Lincoln once said,"Every man over age 35 is responsible for his face". He made that remark declining a position to someone in government.The reason he gave for denying that person was that he didn't like the way that person's face looked. Lincoln's assistant protested that that was discriminatory and unfair for how can someone be held accountable or responsible for the way their face looked. But he replied," Quite the contrary is true ,for we are all responsible for what we look like after midlife comes on for our character is carved in our visage."



I think him right, for if anger is present it resides in the eyes and the sternness of a brow often set. If hatred is resident, it leans the cheeks and sets the jaw; if kindness or love prevail there is a gentleness of features that age cannot efface and always the ever present eyes in which the windows of the soul can be viewed.Confidence is often masked insecurity which can be read in an instant as age shreds the curtains we have drawn. If manipulation and ploy have been the chief factors in attaining what was desired , these also are impossible to deny for they hang heavy on the forehead and circles about the eyes.Without a doubt, all that is inside will become apparent on the outside as age progresses. I think that is why I love the elder set so much; they have no time for pretense, they are what they are and they know it. All the wasted energy put out for appearance,image,and projection are all a mute point.



Why not skip pretense all together? Why not strip our image in our youth and be who we are?Take down your shelves and cabinets filled with paper trophies. Throw out the ornamental boxes with hidden false treasures and lets encounter one another with grace.Make pretense past tense . Enjoy one another for who they are, not what you would have them be or try to become what you think they would receive you to be. Be authentic yet ever striving to be authentically virtuous.@ Corinthians 10:18 " For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved , but the one whom the Lord commends"

Suffering in doses

Wisdom learned in suffering is beyond academic or even remedial it is wisdom infused,injected into one's character as when a flu shot is given . The dose given is a small dose of the disease itself that's being avoided and thus becomes an agent in building up antibodies for future protection or exposure.Thus suffering itself is often neither penal or remedial but often becomes the protection given in small doses as a healing agent and buffer against future destruction." ...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan, to torment me. Three time I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me but he said to me,'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"2 Corinthians 12:7

Shut away

I'd love to be shut away somewhere
for many days or years in the mountain air
with a fire,book and pen by the sea,
where all my thoughts take hold of me;
To drive truth into a corner,
interrogate it, force a confession;
If false no harm's done, I will be free
from all untruth or deceiving contriviality,
But if true, humbly submit my heart
and all truth's virtues to me impart.

95 yr wisdom

I recently awoke at the Washington coast in Longbeach after performing a lovely wedding ceremony for a kind older couple. The groom was a man of profound grace and sensitivity-rare for a man of his age, gentle yet strong. He exuded unusual kindness and generosity. I met his 95 yr old mother and it was apparent to me how his character came to be molded. I sat next to her at the reception and asked her what the most important thing in life was. She did not hesitate to utter," Love ,grace,kindness....and oh, don't go to bed angry." I asked," What is your favorite passage of scripture?". Immediately she answered,"1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter."

She wanted to know why I was asking these questions. I said,"I want a 45 yr jump start on the rest of my life and figured you had the privilege of experience."There was deep mystery in her emerald eyes as if she could read your mind; their brightness revealed a strong sense of presence,understanding, and grace. She spoke softly with authority," You know these things already.....now live them."She was an absolute delight with virtue self evident.

Wisdom sought is not wisdom gained .Wisdom is the practice of selected knowledge. What we throw out is as important as what we retain and choose to put into operation. May I behave as I believe or rather believe until I behave."I believe therefore have I spoken. With that same spirit of faith may we also speak...." Apostle Paul

Another typical day........

I was about to enter my diary with the opening words,"another typical rainy day in the northwest...." .I stopped myself for I despise the word typical. I loathe it's every application of usage for the word itself would attempt to throw everything into an old trunk labeling all as mundane,ordinary, and unworthy of special note. I will have no mundane in my life! I wish every moment I breathe to be a moment of enchantment, magic and miracles. I desire to live every moment with the knowledge of the presence of God. Even one moment in his presence is a moment in eternity and there is nothing mundane,routine, dreary,or uninteresting about that.Every breath should be inhaled with special affection for the glory of life.

I wish to disassociate with this part of my vocabulary; mundane,typical,ordinary,routine. I wish to live each day with eager expectation of the dawn, where every evening is enchanting as Christmas eve and childlike, I approach each new day with a thrill of anticipation and joy.The very rituals of my common hours will reflect a magical celebration of life; collecting eggs from the hen house will be a life nurturing venture of worthy note, washing dishes,or morning coffee, all unique rituals to be enjoyed with the fondest relish.

Great writers like Whitman,Thoreau, Emerson, and Muir all knew how to suck the marrow out
of the moment; a turning leaf, the slight of a breeze, or the sight of a bird alighting upon the feeder. Our culture tends to breed dissatisfaction in order to motivate the masses to purchase their product which gives a false promise of a greater thrill or better comfort. The experience is never quite as good as it was promoted or displayed but just enough satisfaction acquired to anticipate another stimulating event or purchase which guarantees a a greater high or thrill.Thus we become slaves to the exterior. Our interior lives and imagination whither and suppress the real elixir which is always self brewed.

Every new stimulation begets another, and then another, for one must always have fresh excitement to remain alive. It is a gerbil's treadmill of foolish and meaningless activity. It is speed with no direction,distance with no destination leaving us ricocheting our way through life
exhausted and purposeless.

It's not the pace, it's the meaning in which we give life that counts. Meaning above all else is the milepost of our success in living. Meaning cannot be assessed until we challenge the values by which we live. Throw out all that is false and acquire new values, new paradigms,build new equations ,new math until you arrive at an equation that always ends in truth. With a fresh foundation of values revisited and meanings applied their can be no typical or ordinary day,hour or moment .

Miracles are a-foot

I used to look for the glory in the extraordinary or unusual events of my life. But I have come to recognize that God works very much in the common events of everyday life. These are the things that comprise most of our days and that is wherein miracles lie. We step over a dollar to pick up a dime and miss the miracle of a sunrise or a cool misty morning hoping to find something fantastic or magical just over the horizon when heaven is at our feet and miracles are a foot as we sip our morning coffee.

We long for the future to be bright as we miss the present light and illumination that is all around us. We are looking in the wrong place for the kingdom of heaven, for Jesus said ,"The kingdom of heaven is within you....Do not say,'Here it is or there it is' " It always resides within. If we would but take the time and witness the glory, peace and pure delight that can fill us even now we would cease chasing fantasies.God is present in the common hours,this is where he is to be found. He is too present to imagine yet accessible at a whisper.Stop ,look, and listen....there are miracles a foot.

Duplistic light

Arrogance and pride are such bizarre attributes. Like the sun ,so impressed with his own radiance and immanence, he is unable to view the fact that that his very light is duplistic, for in it he is the author of shadows and hidden things in the shade.To lesson the intensity would be to illumine with diffused light against a cloud or a mist; diminished ,reflected,absorbed radiance wherein all things come into view ,shadows dispersed,and darkness no longer hidden. The more brilliant the display, greater becomes the darkness.
Pharisees in their own self righteousness and self proclaimed brilliance killed the author of light."The light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it." John 1:5

Lessons of the heron

I watched a great blue heron remain in a still position ,motionless for over an hour in the meadow near the edge of the lake. He was poised with perfect intent and great hopes of securing food by his perfect stillness.Why should it work for him and not me? Why should he be the only beneficiary of solitude's fruit? I should feed my own soul by the same practice with eager expectation and anticipation of a great catch.

I, near quiet waters survey the landscape of my life in hopes of catching a sweet memory or a loving reflection on some former act of kindness or sacrifice, that with fresh meaning attached, will spur me on to new actions of goodness and faith. My feathered mentor exercises much wisdom in his meditative posture. His patience feeds him. For after hours of perfect quietude he strikes and feasts upon a salamander or grub then resorts back to his former position.

We can only feed our souls with the nourishment that comes from quiet and prayer. This is the place we filter and assimilate making God's values our own. Often times God's clear voice is drowned out by the clamorous shouting and incessant business of our lives. We do not need a new word from God but rather put new priority on filtering out the unnecessary and you will hear what he has been speaking to your heart all along but in a fresh hearing as though it was the first time you heard his voice.

Learn the wisdom of the heron and sit like ,"patience upon a monument", allowing your patience to feed your spirit. Isaiah says," you will hear the voice of the Lord behind you saying ,'this is the way, walk in it.' "Filter not and you will hear it not.